Very few people are immune to the desire and the need to feel liked, loved and respected.
As we meander through life, most of us are acutely conscious and we care greatly about how we appear to the world. This is what some people refer to as our image.
Our image includes such things as the way we style our hair (if we are lucky enough to have any), the clothes we choose to wear, the make-up that we apply before we have the courage to face the world, the car we opt drive, the phone we prefer to use.
Another part of our image is the way we interact with and treat other people. Some of us treat people well because we genuinely care about others. It is not just that we want to be seen to care about others; we really do care about them.
Many of the choices that we make and the behaviours that we display are often influenced by how we might be perceived by others. This mind-set, the one of seeking approval from others, even when that approval can bring with it some negative connotations, is not easy to change.
As we have grown up from children to adults, the environment we have grown up in, the values instilled into us by our parents, and the people we have most been exposed to during our lives, has a contagious effect.
Many of us begin to behave just like the people that we expose ourselves to the most. If these are negative, pessimistic and lazy people, the chances are these characteristics will shine through in our personality, image and habits.
If we surround ourselves with positive, energetic and happy people, there is a very good chance we will become a happy and positive person that is a sought after companion and who wins friends easily.
Some of us hold a great fear of disapproval, of being disliked or disrespected. Because of the pressure that society and the media puts on us to look a certain way, to behave in a certain way, to live to certain broadly ingrained traditions, many of us are suppressed by fear of being marginalized by the people in our lives. The consequences are we can sometimes walk away from doing things that we are really attracted to. We can live our life to win the approval of others – instead of designing the life we want for ourselves.
The fear of rejection, the fear of disdain, the worry that people will snigger if we fail – these are all emotions that are at play with most people at some time in their life.
In my profession, I meet literally hundreds of people each year. Sadly, I experience this sort of debilitating fear all of the time. I meet ambitious people. There are many people who come to me because they want to change their life circumstances. They see the evidence that surrounds me of people who have taken my help and designed a life to pursue their dreams.
Regrettably, some people start on their own path of self-improvement but then step off their chosen path because they get disapproving feedback from people close to them.
In my experience, the people providing the discouragement and the disapproval usually ignore the evidence and the facts. Something that sits outside their perception of normal and traditional is often irrationally regarded as not good or worthwhile. They just cannot get their head around something positive.
As I write these words, the wonderful poem from Theodore Roosevelt jumps into my mind. It is a poem that really resonates with many people. Here it is:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
I offer simple advice. Decide what you want from your life. This is your life. Decide what you want from it and then pursue it with determination and vigour. Don’t let anyone steal your enthusiasm or your dreams, and do be careful about the people you seek approval from.
About Julianna Beavan
Julianna Beavan is one of the world’s most respected Business Coaches and Network Marketers. With a proven track record in helping people to take better control of their financial and lifestyle circumstances, via exciting options that exist in the health & wellness sector. Julianna is often commended for her inspiring coaching style – never neglecting the important human aspects of being warm, supportive and humble towards all those who approach her with a serious business appetite and the discipline to succeed.
If you would like a totally free and no strings attached personal consultation with Julianna, please make direct contact via the link below. Julianna guarantees you will have an opportunity to consider working directly and personally with her.